Only in New York… Or the real face of NYC…

If you only watched movies about NYC, you would have a very wrong, not real prospective of what and how the life is here.  and yeah, we should start with the fact that NY and Manhattan are not the same. There was a time when filmmakers were interested in the working-class side of the five boroughs — as seen in films like Saturday Night Fever or Do the Right Thing. But these days, New York movies would have you believe there’s only one borough: Manhattan (and occasionally hipster Brooklyn). This myth is so prevalent that even some New Yorkers believe it. But don’t get the wrong information: New York City is not just Manhattan. Brooklyn, Queens, the Bronx and Staten Island are just as much a part of the city. Moreover, for me, Manhattan doesn’t look like NY… It is just … Manhattan and people there are different from Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens etc, etc… The rush and the flow is constant there so you won’t go at the next door deli, store, cafe etc, etc and get a nice friendly smile from a person that knows you… As a Brooklyn resident, I can definitely say ht there is a difference.

Also, there is another lie about NYC that you often can see when you watch a movie: that one that everything is located just around the corner of everything. Inevitably any movie filmed in New York City will cut a few corners, literally. In movie New York, parks in Brooklyn are next to streets in Harlem; the Empire State Building is down the block from a cafe in Nolita. While it’s nice to imagine a city where everything is so close together, it’s important to understand that’s just a bit of clever movie magic. Remember in Cloverfield when they walked from Spring Street to Columbus Circle in like 15 minutes? Yeah, New Yorkers are still pretty upset about that.  In fact, I don’t remember when I was last time in Midtown or Uptown(and my husband asks me all the time to go to Central Park every time when we have some free day and always my answer is “no”) because it is just so far away from my place and I hate to spend at least 1 hour there and another one to get back again… No way… I treasure every second here in NYC…

And also, in moves we see that everyone on the Upper East Side walks around wearing diamonds and fur. The Upper East Side (UES) may be home to many of the city’s rich, famous and conservative, but these days the ladies who lunch are more likely to step out in Lululemon than in Tiffany. And that’s if they even still want to live in the neighborhood: The UES is far from the most expensive place to live in Manhattan these days.

And yeah, The poor will not have to settle for a sprawling industrial loft. The idea of young singles living in beautiful loft apartments has been a movie cliche since the 1970s, when actual artists started occupying former industrial spaces in gentrifying neighborhoods like SoHo, Tribeca, the Meatpacking District and Bushwick. But the less-than-wealthy loft lifestyles of the characters in films like Single White Female and Ghost are long gone. Today these spaces sell for almost $10 million — not quite the destination for the young, creative and financially struggling.

And yeah, not everybody has a clean office with a Skyline view…Forget an office: You’re lucky if you even get a cubicle near a window in New York these days. And it’s a lot harder to keep your desk clean of computers, wires, books and to-go containers when you share it with 10 other people at your budget-conscious startup. Moreover, I was asked a few days go how is the weather here. And my answer was “Hmmm, I do’t know… I don’t have time to go outside and I have no idea what is happening over there now, because I don’t have a window here”…

And also, you don’t get to have a very pleasant Subway ride, during the rush hour… Rush hour on the New York City subway of the movies seems pleasant: No pushing or shoving, no running to catch the train at the last minute and no parade of beggars/mariachi bands/urban gymnastics. And, most frustratingly, this fantasy subway always has an empty seat for you. The reality? If a 10-car train has 440 seats and the trains make 7,817 trips a week on average, 3,439,480 people get a seat. That sucks for the remaining 1,960,520 people who ride the train every week, according to the MTA. Moreover, you can get a “rain” of curse words at the damn 6 pm, when the train is more than full and somebody stepped on somebody else foot by mistake. I saw a scene like that when almost a fight started in the full full car of the number 4 train. And I had to leave the train somewhere in the middle, because the spirits were really really hot… I care about my health ad body integrity… And you never know … And there is a common lie that we see in movies about NYC, that one that in fact, nothing is never crowded … Oh yeah… I wish… Museums, restaurants, stores, parks: Movies tell us that there will always be room for you in New York. Movie New York perpetuates the myth that Central Park will never be overcrowded, as well as the myth that New York restaurants never have an hour-plus wait. And the emergency room? In reality, it will take you 5 hours to see a doctor. Or to walk on Broadway, or on Brooklyn Bridge… I love walking and I usually walk in the evening if I have time. I also don’t really like to take the Subway, because of the same reason. So if I have time, I would walk, but I would go on that way that is less crowded. Walking from Wall street to Canal Street on Broadway can be a very challenging thing that would deal with your patience… I had to find other routes (thanks to Google Maps 😀 ) so I would be still able to do my everyday walk and still keep my nerve cells intact…

And there are other “lies” about NYC that are served on the plateau for us in movies. I  don’t have anything against those movies and those little “lies”… A movie should be a movie and if you would show the ugly truth, it would loose its charm and it would stop being a movie… It wold just be… the real life? I am just writing this now as an answer to one of my friends that are back in Europe and has never seen the real NYC but was saying that he feels like he has lived here only because he watched so many movies and when he sees my pictures, he eels like he was there too because he recognizes the places from movies… Yeah, whatever… The place can be similar to hat we see in movies, but the real NYC is not that one that we see in those very same movies… In fact it is not super easy to get a really cool job and succeed super fast. I know, we see that very often in NYC movies, but that is not so easy as it looks like. And yeah, this is another answer to the question why am not I rich and famous here? It is just so easy to do that… Yeah, according to the NYC movies… But life and movies are really really different. It is really true that this city is a very dynamic place ad everything can change really fast and what you knew yesterday can dramatically change tomorrow, but is is not very probable that you would became a millionaire right the day after you were counting every penny before you go to the grocery… I wish things were so easy…

 

How to deal with mean people?

Today I was told that I look mean. And I was really surprised, because I am never mean. Generally I am trying to be nice with everyone and I guide myself after the principle “Treat everyone the way that you want to be treated”. I was surprised to hear that, but I wasn’t angry with that person. The reason? She doesn’t know me and she have never seen me being so serious and having such a sour face. And I really had a sour face. But The reason that I was so “not me” was that, firstly,  I was counting some money when I got that “compliment” and I am really careful when I deal with money because, basically, money is money and this is a serious topic. And secondly, I was acting not on a regular basis because I was tired(and honestly, I have slept only a total of almost 35 hours during the last 7 days and looks like the story is going to be the same for at least the next week, starting with tomorrow(and this is not because I am doing something special, but because that is another proof of how can someone’s actions can affect everybody around. I am these days a victim of someone’s actions and they hit me harder than hit anyone else in our “entourage”, but this would be eventually another topic’s theme.)).

And, as a matter of a fact, I was really surprised to be called mean. The reason? Well, because, I am surrounded by mean people. My entourage is mostly formed by selfish people, with a fricking damn-dumb attitude that are troubled every day how to get as many headaches as possible to everyone, in order to feel less miserable(with a few exceptions, of course). I don’t judge them, in fact, I don’t really care about what they do or think about as far as this doesn’t touch me. And I am not mad(well, honestly, I am mad, but there is at least some logic) when I get “paid” on the base of my actions. But when I don’t touch anybody and I am just doing whatever I am supposed to do without breaking any rules and I got under “the fire”, there is another story…

So why do I write this now? Definitely not because that girl called me mean today, but because I had to deal with a wave of poor attitude (once again, btw)… To be honest, Since I moved to NYC last year in September, I got more critic that during my entire stay in America. It is probably a way of treating people here in this city. As I already said before, that’s not a very bad place, there are pluses too, but the attitude of most of people sucks most of the times. Once again, I have met a lot of nice people that were really friendly and honest and treated me in a very sweet way. But somehow, the “attacks” to my personality increased during my stay here. I was taxed as being slow(and I definitely not), stupid(and once again, everywhere I was qualified as a very smart person, always, during my entire life, except NYC) and weak. The last appellative was a “gift” because of my emotional personality. Here, being a human, with feelings that can be hurt when you are always told that no matter what you do is wrong, no matter how much you try is considered a sing of a terrible weakness… Yeah right… Today, another girl, that works at the next door store was told that nobody there gives her more than one week with a 14 hours every day schedule, 7 days a week, because in NYC, because only strong people can do that(and besides those 12 hours of work she has other 4 hours every day of school, and they know that really well)… Poor girl, she just burst into tears… And she was qualified as being a week being, because she is not a … robot? Well, in that case, I prefer to be a weak human, instead of a dumb brainless and soulless machine troll that feeds his own frustrations with the feelings and sometimes even tears of the others… I perfectly understand that there is a strong necessity of staying strong in order to succeed with something, but I don’t know a single person that would be happy or careless, at least when she/he would be insulted without a reason, just because she’he is different… There is nothing wrong with being different… Or maybe I just don’t get it

So my question, is how to deal with bad attitude of the others? Well, somebody would say do not pay attention… I didn’t … for  a while… It didn’t work… One day, a straw would just break the camel…I still don’t have an answer that would work for the nearest future. The only one solution is to move the hell out of here ASAP, but this is going to happen(unfortunately)a little bit later… I wish I would know… I wouldn’t write this now… Instead of doing that, I would probably tell you an answer to that question…

And, as a matter of a fact, I don’t try to complain about anything. The only one thing that I was trying to do, was to figure out one more time what is the reason of treating everybody else miserable… I still don’t get it… Just don’t get it…

Hello college life (again)!!! Back to school soon? Yay!!!

I am (and was always) a student for life. This is not a statement, this us a diagnosis (I am kidding (or maybe not :D?)). The truth is that I always enjoyed studying. I recall my childhood times, when I was crying a few good days when the summer, fall, winter, spring or no matter which break was. I didn’t have anything to do. Or, procrastinating – that’s definitely my style… I like keeping my brain busy. And since I am a lazy to death person (even thought nobody eve observed that, because my feeling of responsibility is stronger than my laziness) what else can help me better with my keeping the brain busy process  than the studying stuff?
My studying history is crazier and more complicated than a Latino-American telenovela (some people say, even though I don’t agree with that). I have been studying since the age of 7 (OMG, almost 20 years? It may turns out that the people that think that my studying experience is a crazy one are right :D… Or maybe not? 😀 ). So, let’s think: I graduated (once upon a time)  from the Moldova State University (being the 10th one among those 500 with tail of students that were graduating in the same year as me, according to my final GPA). Yeah, I have a Bachelor of Law degree (that is grubbing the dust of my apartment in one more f the drawers). Later on, I have decided that I want to do something else and I went to study the translation stuff from Russian into Italian. I found out that I like that, but I like and I need  English more. So last year, when I ended up in NYC, I thought : I need to have a better English and in order to improve it, it is absolutely necessary to study it at school, with a teacher and homework and the whole paquet (comme les français disaient).
But the whole truth about my dreams is that I always wanted to be a doctor. It is probably my family and basically, my Mom that influenced me to want that… And today I am with a step closer to make that dream to become true. A few days again I got accepted by a college in order to continue my education. I will ( and I like the use of the word “will” instead of “would”, makes me so happy to realize that this is going to happen(God,  please help me)) be a science student in order to attend the medical school. I know that this is a crazy long and hard process, but it worth it… And I have to succeed, I just have to!!! Nobody asks me what I want or what I don’t… If there is something that I have to do, I will do it(at least, try my best to do it) (eh, this damn feeling of responsibility…)
Anyway, I am happy… Today I am happy and even though I know that this won’t be easy at all, I keep my forehead up and try to go straight… And there isn’t another way: ведь танки грязи не бояться 😀

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Another (maybe) 40 reasons (more or less) why you shouldn’t move to NYC

Like pretty much every other ambitious person(and all of you who know me found out eventually how ambitious I am), I always figured I’d eventually move to New York. It is, at this point, half-dream and half-obligation for people trying to do big things. It’s kind of an American Dream living inside of the American Dream.

I also always figured I’d love it. At least, it looked like I would love it. thoose million of movies filmed in NYC gave me the idea of a perfect, magic city. And it is, actually, a magic one, from the prospective of a tourist…

My first touch with NYC was 4 years ago, in 2010. I was a summer program student, that got a fat “NO, I don’t know who you are” from my so-called employer from Baltimore, Maryland and the only one thought that I got at that time was to try how dip is the ocean in NYC. The first thing that hit me when I had the first contact with this city was awful smell of those mountains of trash bags that were in front of the bigger or smaller restaurants of the evening Manhattan. And then the Subway… The NYC Subway is something that for somebody who has never seen it could be an enormous shock: rats running under the tracks, a lot of trash under the same tracks, crowds of people, terrible smell, etc., etc…

Then I got at that place where we were supposed to stay… The place was quiet alright… But the area wasn’t… During the whole summer, almost every week (at least once a week), somebody was killed there… The cause – a “war” between two different groups… I didn’t really even try to figure out who was against who… The least I know, the best I would sleep…

And if this wasn’t enough for a “brilliant ” experience in NYC, one day, I have lost my backpack that contained my phone, my wallet(with two credit cards) and my passport… Yeah, you wrote the right word, my PASSPORT… Can you believe that? And obviously, I had to report that… And to spend almost the whole night at a police station, with two policemen that were making fun of my origins(they asked who I am and at my answer that I am Romanian, they started making fun and saying that there is a descendant of Dracula here… Funny, huh? Well, not really, at least for me, a tired, hungry, scarred girl that has just lost her papers, her money(I had in my pocket my last 100 dollars and I had to pay for rent, for a new metro card(because, yes, I forgot mention, I had my metro card inside of that wallet that i lost) and I had to eat something… And everything would be OK if I only had a job… The saddest thing was that I didn’t, at that time)…

Nut then I found a damn job… I got the title of sales associate (in fact, I was selling ice-cream and water in the street for a cafe/gourmet/deli/whatever was it and I had to yell the whole day “cold water for one dollar”(at one point I even lost my voice for a few days, because I was yelling to much, trying to sell as much as possible ), but who cares, if this was giving me money and I finally had food on my table and money to pay for my rent, so I had a roof under to sleep?

At the end of that summer, I went back to my country, and then moved to Kazakhstan, where I got married and had a quiet life for a few years… Probably to quiet… In February 2013 I felt like I want some adventure and my husband and I, we decided to apply for an exchange program again… And we got it…

We came back to US almost a year ago (OMG, there will be a year tomorrow or after tomorrow(OMG, the time flies so quick, that’s just scary)). After a summer quiet calm in Virginia Beach(which description would be probably the subject of another future post), we had to move back to NYC. I mean, nobody forced to do it… It was just the only one legal way to be here… We decided to go and study here and for the begin, what we wanted to do(my husband and I), was to study English… In fact, I have never studied English. I speak 5 languages, but only 2 of them were the subject of study for me(Romanian and French). I learn English watching movies with subtitles in my native language and with the original English audio track. So, learning the right, literary English was the first step… We got enrolled at an ESL School here and we started our “journey” in NYC…

So when we moved to New York I was quiet predisposed to liking it. We were already successful and could afford to pay rent in the city.We were young (26 both of us), but not so young that would be intimidated or overwhelmed (at least, that’s what we thought(the overwhelming came after, at several points)). We had some acquaintances here. we had already spent enough time in town 4 years ago, so we knew our way around too.

What I should probably mention is the fact that NYC is not the worst place in the world. I wouldn’t be here if it were that way, and those who know me, know that  don’t stay for too long anywhere where I feel too miserable. What should be said, however, is that  New York as it stands today is antithetical to many of the ideals that drive people to move there. I would even argue that, increasingly, it is not the city for many others who are being told that it is.

I say this having lived in many places across the country, in many socio-economic neighborhoods in those cities and having done my share of traveling. There are many problems with New York. Basic problems. We’ll get into most of them below.

But I think it begins with a premise and a question: New York is like an expensive stock: hyped up and trading at many multiples because everyone wants it. It might pay off for you and still go higher-that might be very likely, in fact. But is it really the best opportunity for you? Or is there something better, less coveted, with more upside?

My advice to young people would be this: Don’t move to New York. It is not is where you will find yourself. The obligation is artificial. The payoffs are low. The risk is high. The dream may be dead. I’m going to avoid the trap of telling you where to go instead. I’m just warning you to reconsider. Don’t move to New York, find your own city and your way.

Here’s why:

1) It’s not that money should be precious, but it is dangerous to internalize the attitude that to survive you have to make and spend tons of money. And that things like savings and investments are pipe dreams. It makes you a very short-term person. New York, because of how expensive it is, is full of short-term people.

2) There is no question that being around peers comfortable with spending $5,000-6,000 a month on an apartment has a warping effect on your perspective. There is no way that it cannot.

3) People say that visiting and living in New York City are very different things. I’ve found that they are exactly the same and that’s why it is a bad place to live. That’s quiet why I say that it is a great place to be a tourist, but living in here? Hell, no, it is just too overwhelming… At least for me… And I ended up with the tag that I am weak… Well, if having feelings and acting like a human means being weak- than yes, I am very weak person

4) The parks are beautiful, no question. But how much of that beauty is a result of contrast? How much of the respite they provide is relief from unnecessary (and dare I say, unnatural) conditions?

5) You wouldn’t think there would be such a thing as “too many opportunities” but there are. With so many smart and successful people in one place, it is inevitable that there would be an excessive amount of good meetings, drinks, introductions, events, etc. So you feel like an idiot saying no. But really you should be sitting at home working (or doing nothing). Because that’s life.

6) On a New York street corner, I once saw a homeless guy get hit by a car, launch through the air and land face first on the pavement, skidding to a stop like a cartoon character, except-horrifyingly-the ground doesn’t give way in real life. A handful of us rushed to the scene (that rare spirit of human connectedness in an emergency). Then cars started honking and people got upset because this was holding up traffic.

7) Some of the most amazing people I know live in NYC. That doesn’t mean I (or you) have to.

8) Breakfast for two shouldn’t cost $38 plus tip.

9) An economy where people at the bottom of the service industry-your bike/food delivery men, your CVS employees, your busboys-cannot remotely afford to live in or enjoy the city they do backbreaking or dangerous labor in, creates an intolerably close equivalent to a slave economy. In New York, being around immigrants it’s a reminder of gross inequity and unfairness. The American dream is not an hour-plus subway commute from a shithole apartment for an embarrassing minimum wage and faceless employment. Unless of course, you’re a stagehand at Carnegie Hall.

10) I’m saying that whatever book or movie or narrative that drew you to New York-the person who wrote it would hardly recognize the streets you’re walking right now. Not literally of course, but you know what I mean.

11) Oh, you need to run over to Home Depot or head across town to pick something up at Office Max or some other perfectly minor errand? OK, see you in four hours.

12) There are so many great, accomplished, inspiring people in New York… and you can visit them!

13) Things like Airbnb, Yelp and blogs make it possible to experience something close to living in New York by lowering the transaction costs. It’s cheaper to get an apartment (for an extended period of time), figure out what’s good/cool/new, learn insider tricks and secrets than before. You don’t have to move there, acclimate and learn by trial and error.

14) Have you ever shopped at a grocery store where you’re shopping while in line, able to buy only what is within arm’s reach of the queue which circles the entire store and backs up literally to the front door? Because that is a thing in New York.

15) Hey, cockroaches! (Brrrrrrrrrrr, I hate them!!!!)

16) Is there anything worse and more jarring than walking down the street and getting hit with the sound of a shrieking siren or a taxi laying on its horn five feet away? Or the terrible crashing of truck cargo as their insane drivers barrel through intersections or over dips in the road? These noises do more than distract, they violate the body cavity and destroy any semblance of normal human equilibrium.

17) I met a young woman a few months ago. She had just graduated from some college and moved to New Orleans. I asked why. She said “I don’t know what I want to do with my life yet, but who can afford to live in New York while they figure that out?”

18) Goddamn, you think a city of walkers would know how to walk. They do not.

19) The amount of bitchie people that are here is probably bigger than the amount of them for the whole country. C’mon, people, does somebody pay you for being assholes and dickheads or what? Still don’t get it…

20) I actually like the smaller apartments thing. It keeps you humble and less needy when you move elsewhere and have more options. After New York, you don’t need an extra bedroom or a huge dining room table. But grass and light and some space are basic human needs.

21) If you travel a lot, New York is not a fun place to be based. First off, it costs $120+ round trip to get to the airport (more if you don’t feel like getting sick and jostled in a cab and take a car service). The main airports are terrible (what LaGuardia gains for being closer, it more than undermines by being worse the crappiest small-town airport you’ve ever flown out of).

22) It is not relaxing to come “home” to New York. Because again, New York is busy and buzzing and always on. Normally that is a good thing, just not when you’re coming off a couple weeks on the road. Only being in Manhattan, and seing all this rush, can give you enough stres for… let’s say… the rest of your life?…

23) I’m not sure if New York really deserves its reputation as a haven for creative people or as a creative, inspiring place. It is very clearly a “reptilian environment” which research shows to make being creative very difficult. As someone who wrote a book while living there, I don’t think it’s a stretch to say you have to work harder to feel safe, be vulnerable and produce creatively in New York than you do in other cities.

24 I’m saying that this environment is not good for you as a human being, whatever you happen to do for a living.

25) Yes, you can get breakfast delivered. You can get Chinese food at 2 a.m. or pick up supplies at a bodega. And? This is what you pay 3x a higher cost of living to reside in a inhumanely small space for?

26) Living in New York has some of the same problems as being a vegan.Psychologists have been able to figure out that we have a finite amount of self-control-they call it “ego depletion”-and stressful activities and willpower are very taxing. So do you want the place that you live to sap your most precious resource? Do you want to be a dick to everyone because you spent all your self-control on the minor frustrations of city life, the way a vegan used it all up avoiding chicken stock/

27) New York can be a crutch. Yes, your music career is stalled. Yes, your art remains unknown. Yeah, you’ve yet to be published or your startup is only hype. Butyou live in New York, and that makes you better than the people who don’t (or so you reassure yourself). Where you live is not an accomplishment.

28) Fucking cab drivers…. Oh yeah, fucking cab drivers… ad with that I said everything…

29) Culture and nightlife. First off, let’s be real. By these you mean clubs-and clubs are all terrible, whatever the city. In terms of culture, I think this is overstated as well. It’s not like we’re all going to poetry readings. There might be a few more indie bands, but so?

30) There is something to be said about diversity. Real diversity-as in an ecosystem that truly lets different people do different things. The South is great at this, strangely. So is the West Coast. The economy and culture of New York does not allow that. It allows people to grind it out and be hardened at whatever income bracket they’re at. That’s about it.

31) Speaking of drinks, why does everyone use tiny water glasses in the city? Who wouldn’t be happier using a normal adult-sized cup instead of the shot glasses they set out on most tables? or, if you decided to give us those minuscule glasses, fill them with something damn heavier, not the sleepy water… 😀

32) Winter. Ugh. Modern Phoenix, AZ is not a pleasant place because our modern interventions dramatically amplify the natural climate (heat island effect). Arizona is rightfully docked for this. New York on the other hand, dramatically amplifies the terrible northern winter in equal fashion. It’s freezing but the snow disappears. The sidewalks are iced with the runoff from buildings. Its muggy and steamy inside. The wind races through artificial tunnels created by skyscrapers. And then we just pretend it’s normal winter weather.

Well, it looks that there are only 32 reasons to avoid living in NYC instead of 40, like the title said… From the other point of view, there can be at least 32 points that would stay for living in NYC. Per total, this city is not so bad as we sometimes are tented to think that it is… It is still the city of possibilities and chances… I use to call the city of adventure, the city where you walk every day on a very tiny, small path that lays on the top of an enormous, endless abyss and you have to be very careful if you don’t want to fall down. This is the city where today you can be a millionaire and were just tomorrow – you can turn into a homeless that would be hit by a car and everybody around you would be mad that you interfered with the traffic, causing traffic jams and interminable delays… In this city – you never know what color is going to have the next day… It can be either white, either black… Or, it can be red, green, purple, pink, grey, etc., etc. You just never know…

The first breakfast alone after a million years or the forgotten way of life

So this is the forst morning when I am having breakfast alone, without Alex, my husband (and yesterday, there was the first dinner alone, without him in town, but I had another million dinners by myself here, so this won’t be something so unusual for me. But the breakfast- this is something really new… At least, in the last 4 years, since we got married and live together.

A lot of people would consider this really really weird and suffocant, even, but we are all the time together. Literally. And I am happy with that. I have always my comfort of knowing that if I need something, he is there, by my side. That is what the marriage means for me, “in happiness and grief, always together”. It was very strange when last year we were not together 24 hours, 7 days a week. That happened when we moved to NYC and the crazy lifestyle of this metropolis “separated” us for the day… Eventually, I got used to that feeling, but when the evening comes, there is always a place where we meet, talk, fight, laugh, etc., etc.

Yesterday was a premiere for me. Coming home and being alone was something OK, but not at 10-11 pm.  And I was also stressed, because he was on his way to Virginia Beach and because he didn’t know that our friends from there were not able to meet him at the bus station. I was texting him like crazy, but his phone was probably already dead and couldn’t get my messages.

But the cherry on the cake was this morning: waking up alone, going to the grocery for my bagel and cream cheese and having my coffee alone… This was something really new for me and that’s when I have realized that I am married for such a long time. At leas, feels like a long time… 4 years- there is just a little bit, but I feel that like forever. And that doesn’t have any bad connotations. I am happy with my married life. Like I already said, waking up alone and drinking your coffee in a ill silence is not fun… Not at all. And if I had to change something in my life now, I wouldn’t probably change anything… I love my husband and my married life. I don’t need at all the so – called “freedom”. I am free and happy in the same time… Together, not alone. Obviously, there are not only pink moments, there are green ones, red(of anger), grey, dark ones, but I still love all of them!

I just can’t wait to be Monday morning and this crazy silence would just vanish. And I would have less coffee :D!

 

Good morning, everyone!!!

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